Friday, December 17, 2010

The Power of Now by Steve Pavlina

This is a post about a major shift in my thinking that occurred several years ago, a shift that caused a dramatic improvement in my enjoyment of life.  If you’d like to experience more joy in your life right now instead of merely hoping things will get better in your future, you might find this story helpful.

Many years ago when I was developing computer games, one of my goals was to become very wealthy.  I figured that would be a very positive goal to achieve, one that would give me a lot more freedom.  However, I noticed that even though I was running my own business, I wasn’t enjoying much freedom in the present.  I had to answer to publishers, customers, and other stakeholders.  I had to meet deadlines set by others.  And I had to do many tasks I didn’t particularly like.  When I gazed into the future, I saw the potential for wealth and freedom, but in order to reach that point, I would have to endure a definite absence of those qualities in the present.

Initially this plan of delayed gratification seemed sensible and intelligent to me.  Shouldn’t I make sacrifices while I’m young in order to create a better future for myself?  Wouldn’t it be great to become a millionaire in my 20s?
But something about that mindset didn’t sit right with me.  My intellect liked it, but my intuition kept fighting it.  I experienced a major head-vs-heart battle as I pondered the issue of sacrificing freedom in the present in order to achieve supposedly greater freedom in the future.  I figured it was just a matter of discipline and self-sacrifice and that in the long run, all my efforts would pay off.  But after years of hard work and encountering some major roadblocks along the way, I felt like I just wasn’t getting any closer to my goal.  It always seemed to be just a few more years away.

While browsing through a bookstore one day, a certain book practically jumped off the shelf at me:  Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now.  I had such a strong intuitive sense about the book that I just bought it right away.
The Power of Now is the sort of book that continues to swirl about in your consciousness weeks after you’ve read it.  It left me permanently changed.

The basic principle of the book is quite simple — nothing exists outside this present moment.  But that’s a very different way of thinking than I was used to.  I used to think of my lifetime as a line segment from birth to death.  The present moment was a single point on that line moving slowly forward.  The past was the part of the line behind that point, and the future was the part ahead of it.  After reading The Power of Now, I stopped thinking of my life in this way.  I finally understood that this model was extremely disempowering.

The Power of Now taught me that there is no line segment.  The point is all there is.  The past and the future are illusions.  They only exist to the degree we focus our attention on them right now.  We create the past and the future by imagining them in the present.  But we don’t even exist outside the Now.

This might seem like just a semantic difference, perhaps even an erroneous one, but it was a radical new way of thinking for me, and I was eager to test it.  As I grasped the idea that nothing exists outside this present moment, I turned my overall life strategy upside down.  I understood that if I am to experience anything in life, I must create it in this moment.  It must exist in some form right now, or it doesn’t exist at all.  So the idea of creating freedom and wealth in the future by constraining myself in the present was nothing but a fool’s errand.  That future would never arrive as long as I was creating confinement and scarcity in the here and now.

The future is certainly a convenient mental construct, but I found that projecting too much of what I wanted into my future was hurting the enjoyment of my present.  What’s the point of working to create a future of joy and freedom if my present reality is just the opposite?  If I wanted freedom and wealth in the future, I had to seed its creation right here, right now.  The only power I have to create anything is here in the present.  I adopted the mindset, “If it doesn’t exist in some form right now, it never will exist.”

This shift in thinking produced a significant shift in my priorities.  I began focusing more of my energy on improving the quality of my present reality instead of projecting all those improvements into the realm of someday.  I started asking questions like, “How can I experience more joy in this very moment?”

My present reality didn’t transform instantly, but it did change massively over a period of years.  As part of this process, I eventually stopped developing computer games and shifted my focus to personal development full-time.  Why?  Largely because I enjoyed personal development more than game development.  I got rid of my office and began working from home.  I stopped doing deadline-oriented project work and started blogging and writing articles I could complete in a single sitting.  I started taking more time off.  I began doing more things I enjoyed, such as exercising, reading, meditating, and spending time with my wife.  I became less stingy with my cash and began spending it more liberally when the situation warranted.

I was initially concerned that focusing too much on the present moment would make me shortsighted.  But my experience has been just the opposite.  I’m still able to make plans for the future and work on long-term goals.  In the past I would set goals because I believed that achieving those goals would increase my happiness.  But now the flow goes in reverse.  Today I set goals to increase my expression of the happiness I’m already enjoying.

Consider the goal of building web traffic.  With my games business, I wanted to build web traffic because of what I thought it would bring me:  more leads, more sales, more money, more success, etc.  With this personal development business, I also want to keep building web traffic.  But now it’s mainly because I’m so passionate about the work I’m doing that I want to share it with as many people as possible.  Again, the flow has been reversed.  I don’t look to this business to make me happy.  I look to this business to express my happiness outward and to share it with others.
The big irony is that my future is in much better shape even though I focus most of my attention on the present.  By making my present reality as enjoyable as possible, my motivation has just been soaring.  I’m working from a state of joy instead of a feeling of obligation.  I write because I enjoy writing, not because I feel I must keep writing in order to make money.  If I don’t feel like writing, I don’t write.  Whenever I feel like taking several days off, I do that.

I’ve actually created the very situation I was hoping money would someday grant me.  I imagined what I would do if I was already rich beyond my wildest dreams.  I saw myself spending lots of time working on personal growth, doing all sorts of interesting experiments, and then sharing what I learned with others.  I thought to myself, “That would be a truly incredible life for me.”  But instead of waiting to become rich first, I decided to find a way to make it happen right now, even if I’d only be doing it for free in my spare time.  I realized that telling myself I would do certain things after I was rich was just an excuse.  Do you ever catch yourself saying, “Someday when I’m rich, I’ll do X”?  Deep down you know that it isn’t a lack of money that’s holding you back though — it’s just fear.  Why not find a way to do those things right now, if only on a small scale?

This line of thinking produced some amazing results for me.  Even though I don’t have millions of dollars in the bank, I feel like I’m already living the way I would live if I were financially set for life.  If I won $100 million in the lottery, I’d keep doing what I’m doing right now.  The money would simply expand my capacity but not the essence of what I’m doing.  What would you do if you were already set for life?  Figure out what that is, and find a way to begin doing it on some level right now.

Today I’m so happy it’s almost ridiculous.  I couldn’t even have imagined being this happy on a daily basis five years ago.  And I certainly wasn’t depressed back then — I was at least content.  But now my default emotional state is highly positive, not just neutral.  I stopped seeking happiness in the future and instead looked for ways to create it right now.
I’ve noticed that the happier I feel, the less attached I am to outcomes.  Instead of trying to acquire money, possessions, or other externalities, my focus has shifted to self-expression.  I have a burning desire to create.  Instead of having a craving to eat, it’s like I have a craving to cook.  But of course by focusing on expressing instead of acquiring, I end up doing the very things that enable me to easily acquire whatever I want.  Really I’m just doing what I love most.

How do you feel about your life right this moment?  Are you gushingly positive and overflowing with passion?
Or do you find yourself stuck in the same situation I was in several years ago, sacrificing your present happiness for the hope of a better tomorrow?  How is that strategy working for you?  Are you becoming significantly happier and more fulfilled with each passing year?  Or are you just running on a treadmill while trying to convince yourself that someday things will be better?

There is no someday, you know.  There is only right now.  If your current life path isn’t a joyful one, turn around and take a different path.  Other people will probably whine about your decision — no one on the treadmill of unhappiness likes being reminded that it’s possible to get off at any time.  But I’ll tell you that a few years later, those same people will be asking you for help to make the same choice, especially when they see how disgustingly happy you are.


Personality Development: Be Who You Want to Be - By Glen (http://www.pluginid.com/personality-development/)

Personality is an interesting subject, and not a topic I wanted to cover until I had thoroughly done my research. After-all, even just the word ‘personality’ means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Our personality actually plays a huge part in how we perceive the world and how the world perceives us so I think it is an important subject to cover.

This site is all about living the life you want to live and being who you want to be and I think it’s safe to say that we each view someone’s personality as a large part of what makes them who they are. With that in mind, let’s look at how you can change yours for your own benefit.

What is Our Personality?

I searched around for some definitions of this term and I have to say that my favourite is rather basic: “A set of qualities that make a person distinct from another”. Nice, simple, to the point and the exact definition that I’ve come to think the word means through my 19 years of existence.

On top of that statement, I, like many others, believe that our personality includes our beliefs and values so this is the understanding of the word I’m going to use here. Feel free to substitute your own definition and still go through the process towards the middle of this post.

How It Is Formed

Your current personality, whatever it may be, has been formed in a number of ways. Psychologists have studied human personalities for years and have come to a number of conclusions. First of all, it is believed that certain traits in our character are hereditary, yet things like our values and beliefs are derived from socialization and unique experiences, mostly from childhood.

Based on that statement, it’s likely that the personality of you and anyone you know is based on:
• Social experiences (especially from childhood)
• Unique experiences that you have had in your lifetime
• The environment in which you grew up and how you had to act

While most of this might seem obvious, there is some strong research which suggests that a lot of our current personality is in-fact, genetic. As an example, researchers from the University of Minnesota studied 8,000 twins who had been separated shortly after birth and reunited later in life for whatever reason. They found that even though one of the twins may have lived a completely different live in a different environment, their behaviours were still almost identical.

I don’t think I like the idea that our personality and specifically our behaviours are largely proven to be based around our genetic make-up. That being said, I still believe it is entirely possible to change your personality and literally be whoever you want to be.

Designing your Own Personality

Before continuing with the following steps on designing your own personality, spend a few minutes thinking of the personalities of people in your life. I have some close friends that I know whenever I see them they will cheer me up because they are happy and very positive. On the other hand, I also have friends that are close, but I can always predict how they will react in certain situations and it is usually in a negative manner.

I think all of you can relate to my situation of having friends who you love to be around and other friends who you do care about, but make you feel ‘drained’ when you spend time with them.

The whole point of this post and personality development in general is to develop the characteristics you want to have rather than the ones you’ve been conditioned with.

Following are four steps that I have personally used in the past month to help bring about a change in my own personality that have allowed me to literally be the type of person I want to be. If you are just a skim reader, do not take any advice in this post. The sections in bold need their descriptions to be read in order to have this process result in the kind of personality that you want.

1. Be Honest With Your Current Traits

How would you describe yourself right now? Personally I think I have quite a split personality. At times I can be quiet, I keep myself to myself and I’m very considerate towards the feelings of others. At other times, I can be quite crazy, highly outgoing and literally oblivious to what people think and I don’t really care.

It’s important that you are honest with your current traits so you can decide what you want to change. The position I would like to take my life requires me to be considerate to others so I wouldn’t change that, but I also want to have other characteristics which don’t necessarily compliment being considerate.

If you’ve just spent the last few days in a negative spiral, cursing everything and thinking the world owes you a favour, then don’t define yourself as someone who is happy and positive all the time. You may be happy and positive some of the time, but you should be aware of the traits you aren’t so proud of as well as the ones that you are. Honest self-assessment is key to this step of the process.

2. Define the Qualities You Want to Have

Because this is all about you being who you want to be, it’s time to pick the qualities that you want to have. I have to stress that is important that you do not go overboard on this part of the process and pick tons of qualities that you desire. It is far easier to focus on around 5 core qualities you would like to have at a time rather than a list of 20 or more.

Some of the qualities that I picked for myself were:
• Independent
• Honest
• Positive
• Fun / Good sense of humour
• Trustworthy

It is important you pick qualities that you want to have, rather than qualities you think people want you to have. I put honest and trustworthy on my list because they matter to me personally, but I also put positive because life is a toss-up between that and negative. Most people will say they want to be positive yet they unconsciously love drama in their lives, so really think about this before making your list.

3. Visualise Yourself for 21 Days with These Qualities

The 21-day format has been without a doubt the most amazing thing I have came across in my life. I like to think that I semi-invented this idea because even though it is featured in the book ‘Psycho Cybernetics’ by Maxwell Maltz, I can’t find any evidence online of someone who had put a plan in place for this and implemented it (so I did).

This third part of the process will involve you visualising yourself in any situation having the qualities that you want to have. There are a few things to remember during visualisations and the 21-day challenge:
• You must do this for 21 days without missing a day
• You need to visualise yourself being how you want to be in terms of the end result, not the process
• Your visualisations need to be as real as possible – notice smells, colours, small details and sounds from your imagined environment

To give an example, If I want the quality of positivity to become natural, then each day I must spend a couple of minutes visualising myself being positive. For example I might visualise myself, as vividly as possible, being positive after an event that most people would struggle to remain happy about. I am aware of the fact that this idea will sound very silly if you have never tried it before.

However, it is scientifically proven that our nervous system can not tell the difference between a real event and one that is vividly imagined. The 21 days that you will do this process for is enough time for new connections and pathways to form in your brain, thus ‘imprinting’ your desired result – sort of like a habitual auto-response.

4. Act as If They Are Present

This is quite self explanatory, but in everyday life see if you can act as if your desired qualities are already present. If you want to be positive then be positive, if you wish to be honest then start implementing that in your life. This will get much, much easier as you get closer to the end of the 21 day challenge and this starts to become habitual.

For those of you who do take this challenge I would love for you to come back in around three weeks and let me know how you get on. To everyone else, I would love your thoughts of the idea in general and what your thoughts are on changing our personalities.

What It Takes to Be Great - By Geoffrey Colvin

Research now shows that the lack of natural talent is irrelevant to great success. The secret? Painful and demanding practice and hard work

What makes Tiger Woods great? What made Berkshire Hathaway Chairman Warren Buffett the world's premier investor? We think we know: Each was a natural who came into the world with a gift for doing exactly what he ended up doing. As Buffett told Fortune not long ago, he was "wired at birth to allocate capital." It's a one-in-a-million thing. You've got it - or you don't.

Well, folks, it's not so simple. For one thing, you do not possess a natural gift for a certain job, because targeted natural gifts don't exist. (Sorry, Warren.) You are not a born CEO or investor or chess grandmaster. You will achieve greatness only through an enormous amount of hard work over many years. And not just any hard work, but work of a particular type that's demanding and painful.

Buffett, for instance, is famed for his discipline and the hours he spends studying financial statements of potential investment targets. The good news is that your lack of a natural gift is irrelevant - talent has little or nothing to do with greatness. You can make yourself into any number of things, and you can even make yourself great.

Scientific experts are producing remarkably consistent findings across a wide array of fields. Understand that talent doesn't mean intelligence, motivation or personality traits. It's an innate ability to do some specific activity especially well. British-based researchers Michael J. Howe, Jane W. Davidson and John A. Sluboda conclude in an extensive study, "The evidence we have surveyed ... does not support the [notion that] excelling is a consequence of possessing innate gifts."

To see how the researchers could reach such a conclusion, consider the problem they were trying to solve. In virtually every field of endeavor, most people learn quickly at first, then more slowly and then stop developing completely. Yet a few do improve for years and even decades, and go on to greatness.

The irresistible question - the "fundamental challenge" for researchers in this field, says the most prominent of them, professor K. Anders Ericsson of Florida State University - is, Why? How are certain people able to go on improving? The answers begin with consistent observations about great performers in many fields.

Scientists worldwide have conducted scores of studies since the 1993 publication of a landmark paper by Ericsson and two colleagues, many focusing on sports, music and chess, in which performance is relatively easy to measure and plot over time. But plenty of additional studies have also examined other fields, including business.

No substitute for hard work

The first major conclusion is that nobody is great without work. It's nice to believe that if you find the field where you're naturally gifted, you'll be great from day one, but it doesn't happen. There's no evidence of high-level performance without experience or practice.

Reinforcing that no-free-lunch finding is vast evidence that even the most accomplished people need around ten years of hard work before becoming world-class, a pattern so well established researchers call it the ten-year rule.

What about Bobby Fischer, who became a chess grandmaster at 16? Turns out the rule holds: He'd had nine years of intensive study. And as John Horn of the University of Southern California and Hiromi Masunaga of California State University observe, "The ten-year rule represents a very rough estimate, and most researchers regard it as a minimum, not an average." In many fields (music, literature) elite performers need 20 or 30 years' experience before hitting their zenith.

So greatness isn't handed to anyone; it requires a lot of hard work. Yet that isn't enough, since many people work hard for decades without approaching greatness or even getting significantly better. What's missing?

Practice makes perfect

The best people in any field are those who devote the most hours to what the researchers call "deliberate practice." It's activity that's explicitly intended to improve performance, that reaches for objectives just beyond one's level of competence, provides feedback on results and involves high levels of repetition.

For example: Simply hitting a bucket of balls is not deliberate practice, which is why most golfers don't get better. Hitting an eight-iron 300 times with a goal of leaving the ball within 20 feet of the pin 80 percent of the time, continually observing results and making appropriate adjustments, and doing that for hours every day - that's deliberate practice.

Consistency is crucial. As Ericsson notes, "Elite performers in many diverse domains have been found to practice, on the average, roughly the same amount every day, including weekends."

Evidence crosses a remarkable range of fields. In a study of 20-year-old violinists by Ericsson and colleagues, the best group (judged by conservatory teachers) averaged 10,000 hours of deliberate practice over their lives; the next-best averaged 7,500 hours; and the next, 5,000. It's the same story in surgery, insurance sales, and virtually every sport. More deliberate practice equals better performance. Tons of it equals great performance. The skeptics

Not all researchers are totally onboard with the myth-of-talent hypothesis, though their objections go to its edges rather than its center. For one thing, there are the intangibles. Two athletes might work equally hard, but what explains the ability of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to perform at a higher level in the last two minutes of a game?

Researchers also note, for example, child prodigies who could speak, read or play music at an unusually early age. But on investigation those cases generally include highly involved parents. And many prodigies do not go on to greatness in their early field, while great performers include many who showed no special early aptitude.

Certainly some important traits are partly inherited, such as physical size and particular measures of intelligence, but those influence what a person doesn't do more than what he does; a five-footer will never be an NFL lineman, and a seven-footer will never be an Olympic gymnast. Even those restrictions are less severe than you'd expect: Ericsson notes, "Some international chess masters have IQs in the 90s." The more research that's done, the more solid the deliberate-practice model becomes.

Real-world examples

All this scholarly research is simply evidence for what great performers have been showing us for years. To take a handful of examples: Winston Churchill, one of the 20th century's greatest orators, practiced his speeches compulsively. Vladimir Horowitz supposedly said, "If I don't practice for a day, I know it. If I don't practice for two days, my wife knows it. If I don't practice for three days, the world knows it." He was certainly a demon practicer, but the same quote has been attributed to world-class musicians like Ignace Paderewski and Luciano Pavarotti.

Many great athletes are legendary for the brutal discipline of their practice routines. In basketball, Michael Jordan practiced intensely beyond the already punishing team practices. (Had Jordan possessed some mammoth natural gift specifically for basketball, it seems unlikely he'd have been cut from his high school team.)

In football, all-time-great receiver Jerry Rice - passed up by 15 teams because they considered him too slow - practiced so hard that other players would get sick trying to keep up.


Tiger Woods is a textbook example of what the research shows. Because his father introduced him to golf at an extremely early age - 18 months - and encouraged him to practice intensively, Woods had racked up at least 15 years of practice by the time he became the youngest-ever winner of the U.S. Amateur Championship, at age 18. Also in line with the findings, he has never stopped trying to improve, devoting many hours a day to conditioning and practice, even remaking his swing twice because that's what it took to get even better.


The business side

The evidence, scientific as well as anecdotal, seems overwhelmingly in favor of deliberate practice as the source of great performance. Just one problem: How do you practice business? Many elements of business, in fact, are directly practicable. Presenting, negotiating, delivering evaluations, deciphering financial statements - you can practice them all.

Still, they aren't the essence of great managerial performance. That requires making judgments and decisions with imperfect information in an uncertain environment, interacting with people, seeking information - can you practice those things too? You can, though not in the way you would practice a Chopin etude.

Instead, it's all about how you do what you're already doing - you create the practice in your work, which requires a few critical changes. The first is going at any task with a new goal: Instead of merely trying to get it done, you aim to get better at it.

Report writing involves finding information, analyzing it and presenting it - each an improvable skill. Chairing a board meeting requires understanding the company's strategy in the deepest way, forming a coherent view of coming market changes and setting a tone for the discussion. Anything that anyone does at work, from the most basic task to the most exalted, is an improvable skill.

Adopting a new mindset

Armed with that mindset, people go at a job in a new way. Research shows they process information more deeply and retain it longer. They want more information on what they're doing and seek other perspectives. They adopt a longer-term point of view. In the activity itself, the mindset persists. You aren't just doing the job, you're explicitly trying to get better at it in the larger sense.

Again, research shows that this difference in mental approach is vital. For example, when amateur singers take a singing lesson, they experience it as fun, a release of tension. But for professional singers, it's the opposite: They increase their concentration and focus on improving their performance during the lesson. Same activity, different mindset.

Feedback is crucial, and getting it should be no problem in business. Yet most people don't seek it; they just wait for it, half hoping it won't come. Without it, as Goldman Sachs leadership-development chief Steve Kerr says, "it's as if you're bowling through a curtain that comes down to knee level. If you don't know how successful you are, two things happen: One, you don't get any better, and two, you stop caring." In some companies, like General Electric, frequent feedback is part of the culture. If you aren't lucky enough to get that, seek it out.


Be the ball

Through the whole process, one of your goals is to build what the researchers call "mental models of your business" - pictures of how the elements fit together and influence one another. The more you work on it, the larger your mental models will become and the better your performance will grow.

Andy Grove could keep a model of a whole world-changing technology industry in his head and adapt Intel as needed. Bill Gates, Microsoft's founder, had the same knack: He could see at the dawn of the PC that his goal of a computer on every desk was realistic and would create an unimaginably large market. John D. Rockefeller, too, saw ahead when the world-changing new industry was oil. Napoleon was perhaps the greatest ever. He could not only hold all the elements of a vast battle in his mind but, more important, could also respond quickly when they shifted in unexpected ways.

That's a lot to focus on for the benefits of deliberate practice - and worthless without one more requirement: Do it regularly, not sporadically.

Why?

For most people, work is hard enough without pushing even harder. Those extra steps are so difficult and painful they almost never get done. That's the way it must be. If great performance were easy, it wouldn't be rare. Which leads to possibly the deepest question about greatness. While experts understand an enormous amount about the behavior that produces great performance, they understand very little about where that behavior comes from.

The authors of one study conclude, "We still do not know which factors encourage individuals to engage in deliberate practice." Or as University of Michigan business school professor Noel Tichy puts it after 30 years of working with managers, "Some people are much more motivated than others, and that's the existential question I cannot answer - why."

The critical reality is that we are not hostage to some naturally granted level of talent. We can make ourselves what we will. Strangely, that idea is not popular. People hate abandoning the notion that they would coast to fame and riches if they found their talent. But that view is tragically constraining, because when they hit life's inevitable bumps in the road, they conclude that they just aren't gifted and give up.


Maybe we can't expect most people to achieve greatness. It's just too demanding. But the striking, liberating news is that greatness isn't reserved for a preordained few. It is available to you and to everyone.